I woke up to my worst nightmare; she can’t be serious, can she?

In other news today: wow, what got up Heather Mallick’s ass?  I’m all for women’s rights, but Heather, someone done you some wrong in life to be this angry at men.  Did her editor tell her she comes across like a screaming banshee?  Can you hear the conversation at home (asusming she’s even married):

Heather’s husband: Honey, why don’t we have chicken tonight?

Heather: You controlling bastard!  Who died and made you king?  Why should you decide what I should have for dinner?  I’ll eat whatever the hell I want!

Yikes.  Back away; slowly back away.

Under the category of “that’s a stretch”: researchers at McGill and Concordia Universities have determined that the reason there are so many fewer backyard rinks now is because of… climate change???  They argue that climate change is resulting in shorter winters (true) and as a result, people are not able to maintain backyard rinks properly.  The very fabric of Canadian culture is dying, so we need to heed this warning!  They actually were quite clever to put this spin on it, recognizing how important hockey is to our core identity.  But really?  How about the fact that people work 60 hours a week and don’t have time to build and maintain rinks?  How about the fact that backyards are getting smaller and smaller and can’t accommodate a rink?  You don’t think that has anything to do with it?

And it’s official: the papers have been signed and Schwartz’s is now in the hands of… Céline Dion?!  If Hy Diamond didn’t have his own health issues to worry about right now, he’d have a stroke thinking about what Schwartz’s could turn into.  But then again, with a cool $10 million lining his pockets, should he really care that a beloved Montreal institution may be seeing its last days?  Go now while you still have the chance to order that full fat sandwich with a cherry Cott cola!  Drool.

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