That was an especially long, unplanned hiatus. I did quit my day job almost 4 years ago now, and I have obviously found other ways to keep me too busy to write. I miss it. As an introvert, my brain is constantly buzzing and it gets overwhelming. Blogging had been a therapeutic outlet to release all those not-so-deep thoughts. So I’ve been backed up… at the other end. Forgive me for this lengthy preamble before I get to the point. A few things to update you on:
My orthodontic treatment has been going well. I am hating it, but it is progressing. Unfortunately, as part of the treatment, I have to deal with wisdom teeth extraction this week. I am anxious about it, but whenever I am told I need to undergo an unpleasant medical procedure, I just keep telling myself, “It’s not cancer. Suck it up.” and that seems to help. Tough love.
I have a nephew who is a genius. He can solve a Rubik’s Cube in about 30 seconds. He can name the capital city of every state in the U.S. and while I didn’t verify this, I’m pretty sure he could name every country in the world, and its capital city. He knows the entire periodic table. He’s 11. I’ve never been so close to someone so smart. Asking him “What’s new?” just seems so trite.
I watched Enough Said this week on Netflix. While the storyline is far-fetched, the lead characters are charmingly portrayed by Julia Louis Dreyfuss and James Gandolfini. If you’ve only ever seen Gandolfini in Sopranos, you’ll be surprised at how he pulls off this character that you kinda sorta wanna give a bear hug to at the end.
And back to being busy. While I have been so blessed by the opportunity to be there for DQ, I don’t fully understand how I got back to the point where I can’t find time to fold laundry or work out. Well, no, that’s not true. I do understand: domestic life is B-U-S-Y. Keeping a household in order is HARD WORK. It’s incredibly TIME CONSUMING. I often feel guilty for telling people that I only have enough time to put in about 10 hours a week for my paid consulting work. I find myself defending imagined questions that are never even asked: “But why? What else do you have to do in a day? You’re at home now!” I don’t know why, but I have a tendency to devalue the domestic part of my life. Wait, that’s not true either; I do know why: it’s because I DON’T GET PAID FOR IT. Money is status. If society understood that domestic work is valued at six figures, I’d feel a lot better. But that will never happen.
So, let’s get back to the point of this whole post: is it bad to not like someone else’s kid? Does it make me a bad parent to say this? I’m just going to throw it out there: there is a kid who participates in one of DQ’s extracurricular activities who I find incredibly annoying: a whiner extraordinaire and a space cadet to boot. I honestly just want to slap her sometimes (before you go calling Child Services on me, I of course mean that figuratively). And it’s another example of just how important a role parents play in shaping their children. This girl’s parents rarely reprimand her, and frankly, her father is equally irritating. Am I supposed to overlook that, and play the role of a villager in helping to make her a better person (or at least a more tolerable one)? You know, I say this about other parents who have more than one kid who go on about how difficult life is: you made that choice. I made the choice to have one, and I don’t really feel the need to be part of the village that takes care of yours. Is that bad? Am I a bad, selfish person and parent? Oh well; it’s out there for all of you to judge now.
Hope to connect with you again soon!